never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
