Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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