I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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