is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
