I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
