so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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