I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
