im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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