Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize