he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
