My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
