But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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