Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
