Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
