That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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