He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
