Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize