Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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