thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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