There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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