Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
