you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
