just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Success! We fucked roommates!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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