I puked a lego.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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