I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize