I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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