Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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