he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
