So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
