Your face is a jimmy john
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
