if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
