I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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