just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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