They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
