i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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