Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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