She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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