I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
