We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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