JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
