i just wanna soil my oats bro
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize