ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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