I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
