Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
even my farts smell like vagina
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
