just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
