But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
