Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
