There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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