i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
