next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
