From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
