I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this will be a night to untag.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
