I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Boobs speak an international language.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize