if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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