We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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