so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
