In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
