Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
