i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize