no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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