He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
