also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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