dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
