I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
