That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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