Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
