He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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