I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
