u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize